#screenwriting #SecretService #plotting #characterdevelopment #narrativelogic #screenplayrewrite #fictionalplot #assassinationplot
In a fascinating twist on traditional screenplay feedback, a critique recently emerged concerning a plot revolving around an assassination attempt on a presidential candidate, with suggestions pointing towards the need for a substantial rewrite. The original script, as outlined, presented several issues that stretched the bounds of believableness, particularly concerning the portrayal of the Secret Service. Described as inept to the point of incredulity, the script apparently requires adjustments to render the federal agency’s actions and reactions more plausible and in line with their highly trained and competent real-life counterparts.
Furthermore, the critique highlights the necessity of reworking key aspects of the plot to enhance believability and depth. For instance, the character of the shooter—portrayed as a stereotypical “lone wolf” with a clichéd background—was criticized for lacking complexity and for having implausible elements in his storyline, such as traversing through security with a ladder unnoticed. Suggestions were made to refine his motivation and make his action plan and tools used during the assassination attempt more realistic. The incorporation of a lightweight retractable ladder and more sophisticated means for incapacitating security personnel were among the proposed changes to add credence to the plot.
Lastly, the overall narrative arc faced scrutiny for its depiction of various scenarios that seemed out of sync with real-world logic, including the exaggerated ineffectiveness of the Secret Service and the oversimplified portrayal of the antagonist’s motivation. A call was made for the screenplay to explore deeper into the personal histories and motivations of the characters, including a more nuanced portrayal of the supposed villain. Moreover, other storyline suggestions were made to eliminate overused tropes and introduce elements that reflect the complexity of modern political and security challenges, thus pushing for a narrative that engages the audience with its credibility, depth, and nuanced understanding of the geopolitical landscape. These revisions aim to elevate the screenplay from a mere action plot to a compelling story that thoughtfully navigates the intricacies of security, politics, and personal conviction.
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